Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice. Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they offer a ride to the guys to the cottage. They introduce themselves as students of folklore and they are researching the Vampire Queen Carmilla. When Fletch believes that he will have a night of beer and sex with three sexy girls and Jimmy and Lotte have a crush on each other, the cottage is surrounded by a group of lesbian vampires that vampires intend to use Jimmy and Lotte's blood to bring Carmilla back to life. They are abducted by the vampires, but Fletch escapes and meets Reverend Vicar that tells him that Jimmy is a descendant of the baron and only hope to stop the evil curse of Cragwich. This movie is NOT meant to be taken seriously, if you're looking for a good-to-mediocre B movie that has the potential to be comparable to Shaun of the Dead, then watch this movies. It is what the title says it is.<br/><br/>There are lesbians, there are vampires, and there are lesbian vampire killings. This movie is meant to be funny, though there are a few annoying plot holes, but don't worry, they're not that important anyway, they're all in the end so I won't spoil it for you.<br/><br/>The humor, the practical spoofing of serious horror movies in general, the mediocre acting, make this movie a great B-Movie film. So don't take life so seriously when you're watching this film!<br/><br/>Now stop reading this babble and watch it! After being more well-known as Smithy and Gavin in the award-winning comedy-drama series Gavin and Stacey, James Corden and Mathew Horne decide to hit the big screen with Lesbian Vampire Killers but should you judge the movie because of its title? Jimmy (played by Mathew Horne) is dumped yet again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best mate Fletch (James Corden) is also having a bad day as he was fired from his job as a clown after hitting an annoying child. So the two mates decide to get away from it all by camping somewhere even though they're broke. They decide where to camp wherever the dart lands on the map and the dart lands on- tada!- Cragwich, a cursed village.<br/><br/>Many men who watch this might find the title a little misleading as it isn't entirely about Lesbian Vampires and you won't see much girl-on-girl action but it's still not a bad comedy. It's promising in the first twenty to thirty minutes and then it gets boring sometimes. It kind of tries to be Shaun of the Dead in so many ways but fails as Shaun of the Dead is definitely better. The acting is very average and not so believable sometimes, the Lesbian Vampires are quite hot though so that would have the male vote. Corden and Horne are great together but don't expect brilliant acting quality from them as they're kind of the same as they are in Gavin and Stacey and funnily enough, their characters in this movie are like Gavin and Stacey. The story is kind of weak and isn't that strong at all, there are so many plot holes it's untrue but hey, what do you expect from this kind of movie? I bet that every teenage boy wished they had took part of making this movie in any way.<br/><br/>Read more reviews at: www.dudedazzmoviereviews.wordpress.com
Mooretais replied
354 weeks ago